Stupid Questions

There is a popular phrase, there is no such thing as a stupid question. For the most part I agree with this, but the biggest exception that proves the rule is:

Don’t ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.

A perfect example of this type of question is one every guy dreads: Does this (shirt, pair of pants, swimsuit, outfit) make me look fat?

Let me break down the four possible answers to this question, proving it is a stupid question.

1) Yes, it does make you look fat. While you have to give him props for being man enough to be honest with you knowing there will be bad consequences, this is the least desirable response because not only does it confirm your thoughts that you are a little overweight, but also confirms that other people notice your extra pounds.

2) No, you look fine (obviously lying). Like number one, this question confirms that other people notice your flab. Depending on how you take the answer, this answer may actually be worse than the first. On one hand, he is willing to take your feelings into account and tell you what (he thinks) you want to hear. On the other hand, he is willing to lie to you, bold-faced and blatantly.

3) No, you look beautiful, no matter what. At first glance, this is the answer you want to hear, but even this answer has its flaws. If you actually do look good no matter what, I am led to believe you have self-esteem issues because you need reassurance despite your Greek-goddess body. Either that, or he actually does think you look good despite your spare tire, which means he isn’t going to help motivate you to put down that corndog and get to the gym. You two should be super-happy together on The Biggest Loser: Couples in a few years.

4) Do I look stupid? There’s no right answer to that, so I’m not answering it. Congrats! You have a smart man. He has either read this post, or had the same thoughts I have about these types of questions. You, however, will probably assume that he is avoiding the question because he thinks you do look fat, but doesn’t want to say anything because he doesn’t want to sleep on the couch tonight, and you will punish him as if he did say yes. The rest of us men feel sorry for this poor sap.

This logic doesn’t just apply to women asking this question. Some other questions everyone should avoid for similar reasons:

Do I have any habits that annoy you?

Is he/she more attractive than me?

Was my meatloaf better than your moms?